D Meyers

I look back and I wonder at times....

What is wrong and what is right?

One life to save a thousand.

Was Dwayne's life and me refusing Phillip worth my son getting mutilated and my daughter being used like she was and me being tortured all these years?

Whose life was worth more?

If I had just done what Phillip had ordered me to do Tony would have been dead, and I would have been in jail, and my son would have been dead.....

But the last 7 years of carnage and heartbreak would have been avoided. My daughter would have been saved. Susan wouldn't have been allowed her evil. Nor Jhihong...

So, what is right by God? Because after Susan's "donations" to all the churches I sought solace at the priests won't even speak to me much less answer my questions anymore.

Whose life was worth more? Dwayne's or my son's?

Tony was evil, and vile, and dangerous. And the last 7 years of carnage was because he was allowed to blackmail everyone. Tony deserved it. But he told me that night that they had a man waiting to kill my son if I did anything and the whole thing was a set up and if I hurt him I'd lose my son.

And Phil, he just never spoke to me and started throwing rape parties.

So, what is wrong and what is right by God? And who are all these people that "hate" me based on lies and scarlet lettering by the very abusers I run from, and they help? I know none of them, and none of them have ever spoken to me except in lies, yet they all go around sneering about what my vagina smelled like at the rape gym in Spanish Fort?

Because I will already hate myself forever that in me refusing to kill a federal informant for Phill and Todd it cost my son years of anguish and torture. And me.... well, my whole life. Their opinions mean nothing to me.

What should I have done? What would you have done?