Revelations & Marriage Trafficking

It’s bittersweet. When the gaslighting is over and the truth reveals itself. What was once confusion, chaos, panic, running like a scared mouse, becomes realization, and anger, and wrath, and rage as the confusion clears and the clouds dissipate.  

This is the revelation blog I suppose.  

All those years, running from what was supposed to be the “family that would never fail me”. It feels like a wasted life. It’s hard not to look back at the last 10 years and feel anything other than remorse and resentment. However, my therapist makes a very good point. The experiences of the last 10 years shaped who I am today. So how do I see myself today? It’s a very self-empowering question. For the first time in a decade, I define me, and not my abusers.  

Simply put, Raymond existed, he died, or so everyone thinks, without ever even coming to see me. He just assumes Renton was enough. Yet from what I gather they left him to die screaming in pain in a hospice, while they all partied and went gambling. The thought sickens me.  

Raymond left me a considerable sum in his will, but being as old fashioned as he was, and not knowing or understanding that I was estranged from my family for very logical reasons such as self-preservation, his stipulation in his will was that I either had to be married or turn 50 before I would be able to access my inheritance.  

Jhihong and Phil and Todd, being who they were, kept me in the dark the whole time and Jhihong used the weakest and stupidest link in my family, Susan, to “marry me off”. 

Thus, the reason Susan spent all those years “looking for a husband for me”. They wanted the money. So, they devised a plan to keep me drugged, forge marriage paperwork, then drug me and have me raped in order to say that I was purportedly “unfaithful” to my fake husbands, and they kept and spent all the money.  

To this day I have no idea how many times Susan and Todd “married me off” to rapists and gambling addicted liars so they could all live it up and be anything other than the trailer trash they have always been.  

You can dress up a turd in silk underwear and designer clothes and fancy jewelry but that doesn’t make them anymore than the turds they always were. They just spray all the clothes down and burn and destroy things to hide the fact that they made it all smell like shit.  

They never wanted me to be seen anywhere. The gym, school, any public places, because then all their lies about me would have been destroyed and people would have started asking questions. Such as, hey, why doesn’t your supposed “wife” have a wedding ring or even know she’s married? The “no contact order”... if it ever even existed and wasn’t just another lie, essentially just kept me away from my kids which prevented the only witness’ from being able to collaborate and defend themselves. My children were their only leverage on me.  

Phil’s “family” always needed their test. Which I cannot “pass” because scopolamine doesn’t work right on me because of the anomaly on my pituitary gland. Then his “family” just started using me for “training exercises”. Then I became their gambling money and fashion show ATM. 

They all need "leverage" on each other. They "can't trust". And I was a good girl when that heinous abuser asshole Todd found me. A Montessori PTA mom and a children's gymnastics coach and an anatomy tutor with no criminal record and the whole world ahead of me. So, Phil and Lauren and Todd and Jhihong and Susan and all their rapist perverts just made "leverage" with their sick freak drugged rape abuse blackmail "show".

Espionage is one thing, but if one doesn't have loyalty to and protect their own "family".... well what exactly does that say about your "family" that will always fail me? Phil, Ed, Roy...?

Now the CIA must explain how they completely FUBAR’d a decade with Phil’s whole “I’ll have my friends in the CIA put you on the federal “meat list”. Enter psycho Lauren and her sadism and fashion show in Newnan. 

I guess the CIA doesn’t “have” to explain a thing. Expecting that much honor from them after all these years of their abuse and dishonor and lies... I know better than that.  

What I am sure of... it’s illegal for the CIA to harass or investigate and American citizen. It’s even more illegal for them to use an honorably discharged disabled veteran as an ATM and sex and labor trafficking bait.  

Susan never had any authority that wasn’t an illegal court hearing, and or forged paperwork and fake marriages. The devil would start selling popsicles in a tutu in hell before I ever let that evil old addict abuser jealous hag EVER “pick out a husband for me.” She chose a sick rapist fat nasty alcoholic pedophile for herself. Which is why she was cast out of “high society” in the first place. She should have stayed in her rotting diaper ridden gambling addict hole with her pedophile instead of infecting and abusing my children.

Let the cutting chords ceremony commence.